Sho the Fool
by Glimare
Summary: One Shots where Sho's idiocy gets him in trouble, from security to tabloids to undercover personas. The fool needs to stop putting his foot in his mouth. Mostly stand-a-lones but all along the same lines. Ren keeps laughing at the fool
1. Sho the Fool

**Disclaimer:** Wish I did, but Skip Beat doesn't belong to me.

I kinda hope this happens in the manga. It'd be hilarious! XD

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_**Sho the Fool**_

Sho couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Kyoko going into a super expensive, ultra high class apartment building one night. She was laden own with groceries and wearing that disgusting uniform, but kept walking in a business-like determination. He'd recognize her anywhere, he was sure of it. But what was she doing going into that building?

Curious, he decided to follow her. Doormen and security was pretty easy to dodge when he got inside, having practice with hotels and the like over the years, so he didn't have a lot of trouble getting in. For some reason Kyoko seemed to be on name basis with one or two of them and even had a card that let her in. Did she live there now? No... she wasn't doing this well.

He was surprised she took the stairs at first, but then became rather happy. It was easier to tail her this way. How she could happily go up seven flights though while carrying those bags was a mystery to him. He was exhausted just carrying himself! He barely made it to her floor's landing before she completely vanished from sight. Clueless girl didn't even realize he was following her.

Huffing and puffing, he managed to see which apartment Kyoko slipped into. Rather, Sho saw her grocery bag go into one of the condos. He didn't see her enter anywhere. It took several minutes to catch his breath, then many more to regain his composure. There was no way he was going to give her the pleasure of seeing his exhausted self. Fuwa Sho had his professional pride after all. He was not going to look like a wretch while confronting his old childhood 'friend'.

Finally presentable (took thirty minutes or more really. Stairs) Sho strode over to the apartment as if he owned the hotel. He knew just what he was going to say to her too. 'Well well well! So! What did you sell to get _this_ place? What exactly does 'Love Me' stand for anyway?' Then he would push past her frozen form and check out the place, making it his own. Everything that was hers was his after all.

Grinning and getting into position, he rang the doorbell next to the room he knew she went into. He came up with a million scenarios as he waited the thirty seconds it took for her to answer the door, each one as likely as the next. She was not getting out of this unscathed.

Then the door opened.

To Tsuruga Ren.

The two men looked at each other for a moment, silent and frozen. Sho's mind short circuited entirely, not believing that this man would be there at that precise moment. _This_ man! Of all the people in the world! Why did Kyoko-

In a flash, the actor grinned one of his shining gentleman smiles, something the musician only saw once before. "I'm sorry. We're not interested. Goodnight sir."

Without a second's hesitation, Tsuruga slammed the door shut on his face. All Sho could hear was its echo through the hallway and the clicking of many locks.

* * *

Ren felt a great deal of satisfaction at slamming the door in that arrogant brat's face. The kid really needed to be fully rejected by someone like that, among other things. He did feel sorry for the door though. The hinges might never be the same. Adding a third lock on the door was a good idea after all, and just as satisfying to put in place after that rejection. A dark smirk peeked out of his features as he headed back into the main part of his apartment.

"Who was that?" Kyoko poked her head out of the kitchen, a ladle in her hand. Her curiosity never ended in certain affairs, especially since Ren didn't have many visitors at his home in general. Only three people knew where he lived... well four now but he wasn't about to count him.

"No one important." Ren picked up his cell phone just as the doorbell started going off like crazy, accompanied with a lot of door pounding. There was likely shouting on the other side as well, but the place as soundproof. Thank heavens.

"Sounds like you ticked them off..." The girl sweated a little over the noise, clearly getting annoyed. He had to act fast to keep those two separated right then, and was.

"Looks it." He found the number he needed on his phone and pressed send. Putting it to his ear, he put on his best smile for the conversation. Kyoko left him to handle things after the first few words. "Ah yes, security? This is apartment 721. I have a very angry young man at my door who will not leave. Would you mind escorting him out? ... Yes he's outside my door right now. ... No, I don't think he lives here. He's getting rather aggressive to my door. ... Well he's blond, young, and seems to think he's someone important. He may be a stalker. You might want to look for holes in the security grid. ... Thank you for your assistance."

Ending the call, Ren's shining smile went back to devious satisfaction. He may have sworn not to hurt anyone ever again, but it didn't mean he wasn't a sadist who enjoyed watching punks get what was coming to them.

From inside the apartment, he could hear both Kyoko cooking like she owned the kitchen (which she did) and Fuwa being subdued against his door by security. It wasn't graceful on their end by any means, but why would he want it to be? Five minutes later, he watched from a window to the ground far below. Fuwa Sho was making quite a scene. The tabloids were going to destroy him.

Well, that's what he got for tailing Kyoko and attempting to barge into his apartment. Ren's dark smile only grew. Served the bastard right. For once, he won.

END

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A/N: XD yeah read another fic recently where Sho followed Kyoko to Ren's place and wondered why Ren didn't just slam the door on his face and call security to get rid of him. So this is what I did. So much fun! Hope you liked


	2. Still a Fool

Honestly I was gonna stop at one, but this came to me the next day and I had to post it too. ;] Enjoy!

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_**Still a Fool**_

Ren really could not believe the gall of this kid. Broad daylight, lots of people around, their managers within earshot, and he was certain he recognized three different paparazzi reporters nearby. Were they planted or just really lucky? After he had security get rid of the brat from his apartment building, he was wondering if there was going to be retaliation.

Unfortunately for Fuwa Sho, Hizuri Kuon grew up dodging the press... and manipulating the tabloids. Time for another round. It was hard not to smile.

Sighing heavily, Ren looked away, annoyed and exhausted as the idiot. "Really Fuwa-san. We need to stop meeting like this."

A sneer appeared on the kid's face. "Well considering we're in the same business-"

"Music and acting are not really the same business."

"And at the top," he went on, straining to ignore the comment, "it's only inevitable that we'd run into each other."

"Not this often." Sighing despairingly again, Ren decided to make his move. "Look, I said I'm not interested and that's final. Please stop going out of your way to see me. I'm flattered, really, but..." He gave him a dubious look, then shook his head. "No."

He gave a nice, polite smile then started walking away. Within seconds the kid was digging his own grave. Fuwa lunged forward, grabbed his wrist, and snarled to get his attention. Ren just raised an eyebrow at him, keeping his calm while the other was losing his. "Just what was _she_ doing there?"

He paused for a moment before asking the obvious question. "Are you jealous?" When the singer didn't answer, he continued on, pointing out the obvious answer. "Really Fuwa-san, who I associate with should be of no concern to you. Being that curious... You're beginning to sound like an obsessive stalker."

"Huh?" The thought seemed to strike him, maybe reminding the artist about the Beagle incident, then about his own actions towards Kyoko lately.

"Since I won't abandon what you did," Ren carefully removed his wrist from his grip, maintaining his gentle image perfectly, "I'd advise you grow up and take it like a man. Stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. I am really not interested in you. Good day."

With that, he gracefully left the musician to the mercy of his manager and the paparazzi who had heard every word. He wanted very much to smile as he returned to his baffled manager, but stayed as serious and untroubled as possible. "What was that about?"

"Oh nothing worth mentioning."

* * *

"REEEEENNNN..."

Said actor looked towards his manager now holding a copy of three different tabloids with similar headlines: SHO HEART REN-Tsuruga not interested, ONESIDED BL? Fuwa Sho and Tsuruga Ren, SHO REJECTED BY REN- Women rejoice!

The makeup artist just gaped at the titles as Yashiro loomed over his client in the chair. Ren did his best to not grin as the accusations started. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I never said he was gay," he clarified easily. How badly he wanted to smile right then. "Just that I wasn't interested."

"Interested in what?" Now that was the question everyone should have been asking. Tabloids wanted so much to exploit performers' sex lives that it wasn't hard for them to make the conclusion. All he had to do was keep it vague.

"In fighting whatever petty war he declared when we first met." Hopefully this makeup artist was part of a rumor mill so word got around. It may save both their reputations, or at least work this to his advantage. "Honestly it is incredibly childish. I just want to do my job and do it well. He's currently number one on the music charts, correct? Why should I concern myself with that?"

Gaping at him, Yashiro and the lady pausing with his hair, pointed to the papers again. "So this..."

"Has nothing to do with romance." Ren still wanted to grin and laugh at the successful press slap in the face he delivered to that privileged runt, but his acting abilities kept Tsuruga Ren, gentleman, in place. Sighing slightly, he feigned defeat. "If the president calls, I'll explain myself. I'll even write up a statement for Fuwa's agency if they want one, but really, who believes those kinds of rumors from that kind of source? It's better to just ignore it."

Stopping, Yashiro looked back to the papers and calmed down, still curious. Sighing defeat, he nodded. "You're right. No need to panic. On the plus side, with this you've established you're straight. Some people were wondering..."

A small shiver went up his spine at the idea that someone had rewritten his preferences for their own enjoyment. Maybe he should take Kyoko out to dinner as a LoveMe assignment to disperse that possible rumor for good. Good excuse for a date at the least. Yeah... he'd do that. And if they were caught on camera, well that was another win for him.

END

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A/N: XD Sho keeps falling into traps whenever he's in public with Ren doesn't he. he only wins in private, but hopefully he'll stop being so private about things if he wants to keep the rumors away. *evil laugh* Hope you've had a good laugh.


	3. Dinner Sho

This only happened because people insisted and I wanted Ren to say 'check please'. Didn't quite say it, but close enough. Fluff at the end.

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**Dinner Sho**

Sho could not believe it. After all the problems he had over the past two weeks with the press, that bastard actor just had to be in the same restaurant he was! Here the top singer in Japan was trying to fix his reputation by taking a few groupies to dinner with him in a place he was sure to be seen, and that damned actor just had to be laughing with some call-girl at a table in the center of the room! He just had to be there that night!

Glaring death upon the man, the singer abandoned his fans and marched loudly to the creep's table. Their eyes met for a brief moment, showing the man's surprise just seconds before he slammed his hand against the table, rocking everything on it every which way. A shocked squeak came from the wench he managed to snag that night, but he didn't look back to her. His furious stare was only on the stock still actor before him.

Tsuruga Ren was frozen with a blank face before him. Finally Sho had the advantage.

Sneering superiority on the man, he finally got his chance to tell him off. "You've got a lot of nerve showing up here after what you did, Tsuruga."

"Pardon?"

"You made a real fool out of me last time we met." The irate teen-turned-adult loomed over the man with his death glare. "Because of you, I have to do damage control. Repairing my image is gonna take months. And you get off scot-free because of your pretty acting. Now you have the gall to take some bitch out to dinner in front of the cameras after screwing around with Kyoko? I aughta-"

"Aughta what? Shoutaro?"

If Sho had been paying attention, he would have noticed Tsuruga's lips twitch in amusement at that point. He also would have noticed the slightest flare of anger in his eyes when he insulted his date. Hey, if he was paying attention, he would have realized that his date that night happened to be no other than the girl they were fighting over. Now he was paying attention, and it felt like the furious demon summoning actress behind him was going to slaughter him through supernatural means. The younger man froze momentarily and slowly turned around to look at her properly for what may have been the first time.

Rising from her seat, Kyoko glared even more heinously at him than when she declared revenge. She wore a light brown wig just passing her elbows that evening, along with a classic little black dress and silk shawl. A few well-placed ruby jewelry and makeup pieces, along with the way she held herself, made it incredibly difficult to recognize her. Her supernatural glare though was unmistakable.

What did he just walk into? '_Oh crap._'

"Well? What 'aught' you do? Interrupt a perfectly good meal and friendly conversation? Just because you happen to see a more famous person here than yourself you think you can bully?" Her glare became darker and darker as Sho tried to come up with some way to fix this. He was so busy thinking in a panic and trying to show Kyoko that he was paying attention to her that he missed Tsuruga flagging down a waiter, let alone all the cameras going off.

"Kyoko..."

"Why do you think we're even here, you idiot! Because of your stupidity-"

"My stupidity?! You're the one going off with strange guys! What are you-"

"Someone had to fix this!" Kyoko was out of her seat now, glaring down her former childhood friend as they bickered endlessly. Just beyond them, the oldest of this interesting love triangle was performing damage control.

"I'm sorry about this but may I have the check? And a couple to-go boxes for dessert and the lady's plate?" Tsuruga inclined his head to the bickering duo, an apologetic smile for the waiter. "This is going to take a while."

* * *

"So... Sorry about this Tsuruga-san."

Ren tried to keep up a pleasant, understanding smile that wasn't hiding any anger, nor was laughing at how cute she was at that point, as he tried to reassure Kyoko what he had from the beginning. "There's nothing for you to apologize for. Neither one of us can predict what that guy is going to do next. And you are not responsible for what happened."

"But..." Red head to toe, Kyoko just stared at the dashboard, wanting to disappear. "It's my fault that he-"

"It is not your fault," he reminded her once again. She really needed to stop that habit of looking out for that punk. "If it is anyone's, it's just his. He still hasn't learned his lesson."

"What lesson?" She looked at him curiously, cocking her head to the side. Ren nearly lost his focus driving spotting her innocent stare. She was just too cute! And incredibly naive.

Sighing momentarily at his wandering thoughts, he explained. "Sometimes the best action is no action. Especially when it comes to public places and the press. Tomorrow I have no doubt there will be new rumors about all three of us."

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have lost my temper! If I hadn't-"

"Then I would have." Honestly, what was Fuwa thinking calling her something like that? He was the one dragging around four or five impressionable girls to dinner. Ren was quite satisfied just being with Kyoko, even when they weren't doing anything but having a public dinner to prove to the press he wasn't gay. "He shouldn't have said those things to you Mogami-san, and I will not tolerate that behavior towards anyone, especially towards people I care about."

'Especially you' was barely kept from his lips, but the tightening of his hands on the steering wheel made them clear in her mind, he hoped. Fuwa was out of line, and unintentionally exposed his real, selfish, and childish self to the media. As Ren calmly paid for their meal and extracted Kyoko from the fight, the singer had kept going off on them and had to be forcibly removed from the restaurant.

Forcibly removed from two high class locations within the same month with his mouth going off uncontrollably. This was not a good month for him. Worse yet, their... relationship (for the lack of a better word) was becoming known. They had managed to keep Kyoko out of the limelight until then (some kind of unspoken rule between them) but now people were going to ask who the mystery woman was. If Fuwa kept this up, he'd send his reputation down the toilet all on his own.

As fun as that was, it wouldn't help anyone. Especially the suspiciously silent and blushing girl in the passenger seat. Taking a deep breath, Ren put the entire incident aside in his mind to favor her with a smile. They couldn't go dancing like he planned thanks to Fuwa, but at least they enjoyed themselves until that point. Their first official 'date' (a LoveMe assignment to keep his reputation safe) was coming to a close as they made it back to the restaurant Kyoko boarded at. He needed to end it on a high note. "That look on his face when the waiters dragged him out was pretty good."

"Yeah..."

"Almost made all the trouble he caused."

"Would have been better with pie on it." The cartoonish image now in their heads started a fit of giggles between the two of them. Ren put the car into park and unbuckled his seatbelt to help her out of the car, trying to smother his laughter. He took the to-go boxes from her hands before gracefully helping her out of the passenger seat, kicking the door shut behind her and keeping her hand in his as he walked her to the door. "I can take-"

"Let me be a gentleman for the entire night," he insisted, reminding her of proper dating etiquette (which he was teaching her the entire night as well). "You can have them at the door."

Pouting, his princess nodded and followed him to her home. At the doorstep, he decided to take a chance and find out exactly where he stood with this girl. "Traditionally when a man and woman part for the night after a date, they seal it with a kiss on the doorstep."

"EH?!" Beet red, Kyoko almost took her hand out of his, but he managed to keep his grip on her.

"That's if it's between boyfriend and girlfriend," he quickly amended. "If it's between friends, a hug of thanks is quite acceptable. If the date didn't go well or there is little to affection, a handshake is proper. If you hated it entirely, you run out of the car screaming."

"Is that really appropriate Tsuruga-san?" Kyoko gave him a doubtful look and he could not blame her for one minute. This was a polite custom among Americans. He didn't have a clue if that was true in Japan. The last time he dated anyone, he was 15!

"Quite appropriate," he assured her with a smile, careful not to be caught lying. "Especially since this is how the lady tells her date how she feels about the date and her companion. What she says can even determine if there will ever be a second date. Other than the kiss being a mutual decision, the lady iniciates what takes place on the doorstep."

"I see…" She seemed to think about it for a minute before looking at him with real concern. "But… your arms are full. I don't want to trouble you."

Arm_s_. Hug. YES! Ren's heart leapt for joy at the implication, his smile starting to glow happily though still contained. "I'm quite capable of holding you with one arm. Should I demonstrate?"

"Eh?"

Without any further warning, he let go of her hand and slid his arm around her waist and up her back, gently pulling her towards his chest. He gave her every opportunity to escape (he only had one arm free after all), but instead her arms somehow ended up around his middle. Lightly, but they were there! It was really hard for him to contain his happiness just having her there like that. "See? I can manage it. Thank you for such a wonderful evening."

"But Sho-"

"Did not make your company any less enjoyable." He relaxed his hold to look at her pink face, very glad she no longer froze up or turned into a radish every time he held her. Kyoko had grown a lot over the past few months. "Next time though, let's go somewhere more private."

"Next time?"

'_Crap. Getting ahead of ourselves aren't we Ren._' The actor racked his brain for some excuse for the slip up. Official date number two was a long way off at their snail's pace. Besides, this was a LoveMe assignment…

"Well, you can't expect rumors to be dispelled in a single night, can you? Three sightings in two months should be enough." He let go of her and took a step back, bringing the food front and center as he spoke. "We can discuss future appearances and points later at LME. Deal?"

Kyoko seemed to stare at him blankly for a moment before nodding and taking her food. "Deal."

"Alright then… Goodnight Mogami-san."

"Goodnight Tsuruga-san." Bowing slightly, she gave him a small smile and headed inside.

With his date finally safely indoors, Ren took a deep breath and headed back to his car, savoring every face she made in the past ten minutes. A date, a hug, and a promise for at least two more dates within the next two months. His long suppressed teenaged hormones got him to grin in triumph and nearly punch the air. Despite the idiot's interruption, this was a wonderful night.

END (for real this time!)

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A/N: I have no idea if the date doorstep thing is national or global or just from my subculture, but it was how I was told to end dates. Give guys a complimentary hug so you don't hurt their feelings and make it clear whether you are willing to go out again. I was all ready to hug my last date, but he turned it into a handshake... =/ weird.

took the entire story a little longer than I wanted to, but oh well. Hope you've loved the fluff! G'nght!


	4. Idiot in Heels

I really should just call this a collection of 'sho get's pwned' shorts, but I'm too lazy. Not connected to the others, just wanted the last scene to happen. Enjoy!

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**_Idiot in Heels_**

Sho could not believe his eyes. Possibly one of the sexiest (though small chested) girl he'd ever seen was leaving the studio next door. She had to be half Japanese with that hair and eye color, but her style… It wouldn't take long to see what was under those clothes. Judging by her clothes, and being a westerner, she had to be an easy catch.

After the day he had, he was feeling lucky.

"Hey there." The musician swaggered over to the girl looking through her phone, bored. Sho slung his arm around her shoulders peaking at the screen as he spoke huskily to her. "How would you like some tuning by a world class musician?"

The blond under his arm didn't look up from her phone for a moment, ignoring him and the weight he brought with him. That… was weird… but not near as weird as what was on her phone. Photographs of cuts, scabs, and scars on some guy's body were everywhere; some of them were rather grotesque. Ignoring his churning stomach, Sho tried again. "Believe me, I can really make you sing. So how about it?"

Again he was ignored, the lady still flipping through photos. Each one was grosser than the next. Eventually it landed on a man's face, or was it a possessed corps? Either way, it gave him the creeps. There was something about that face that put him on edge too, chills running down his spine. Still he persisted to get this exotic beauty under his arm (since she hadn't thrown it off, she must have been interested). Carefully he leaned into her ear and whispered. "You don't have to be shy sweetheart. Gentle or rough, I know you'll enjoy-"

"_Cain! Hurry up!_" She jerked her head back the way she came, a slight scowl on her face. Her English was unexpected, especially her accent. British? She looked more like an American than a Brit. "_You promised me a date and the shops are already closing!_"

"_Coming._" A distinct masculine voice came from the studio she left minutes ago, drawing Sho's eyes to the source. A cold shiver took over his entire body seeing him; the darkest nightmare he could imagine for himself appeared, like the reaper himself. Tall, dark long and tattered clothes, and a glare that when it met his eyes nearly made him lose control of his bladder.

This guy saw him where the girl hadn't.

And he wanted him dead.

As if he was nothing more than a curtain she was leaning against in boredom, the sexy lady slid out of his arm and went straight to the man, getting in far closer than Sho ever dared get to her. His arm hung uselessly in the air when she snuggled into the large man's chest and he wrapped his arms around her possessively. The glare sent his way by the large wraith almost disabled the musician's control over his colon. Dealing with this guy required diapers.

And yet this girl was talking to him happily in English? Not a drop of fear appeared on the girl's face as she spoke to him, pouting for a moment. The man nodded and eased his hold over her so they could start walking out of the building. The dark giant only softened his eyes when he was looking at that girl, but he was still a menace. He had to save her from him.

Finding a use for his arm, Sho darted after them to try and grab the girl. That guy saw his try, and made it fail, smoothly pulling the beauty into a one armed hug as they moved. "Hey! Wait! You-"

Suddenly the girl finally looked at him, a cold glare similar to the one the man had. It stopped his voice without a second's thought. Then she spoke three words that failed to leave his ears for days to come.

"Get lost ugly."

Frozen in place, the musician hung uselessly back with one hand in the air as they gracefully left the building. He barely saw the tall man look back to him, smirking evilly. The words just kept going in his head.

_Get lost ugly._

_Get lost ugly._

_Ugly._

_Get lost._

"U…Ugh… Ugly?"

His mental image breaking from the statement, he failed to hear what the duo was saying as they left. The man seemed pleased and the girl was happy he felt that way. He did see the man tip the girl's head closer to him and kiss her head lightly, ending all Sho's dirty fantasies about the girl. This just could not be…

_Ugly?_

END

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A/N: Seriously, I wanted Sho and Setsu to meet up, and I wanted her to call him ugly. Narcissist probably couldn't take it. Unconnected to the others, and seriously not thinking about continuing any of them. Seriously, I need to stop writing these shorts... *sighs* Hope you've liked!


End file.
